Cold Sweats Turkey Hell

So Carrie gets nose surgery and can’t smoke. Great time for us to quit right? I’m not sure if the past four days could be described as a great time. Little did I know when I smoked my last cigarette Friday morning at 8:30 a.m. that I was standing at the Gates of Hell. This being my own Divine Comedy (or Tragedy depending what non-smoking personality you are talking to) I have outlined below the results of quitting smoking cold turkey:

Circle One~ Driving alone seems to bring about the worst cravings. When I smoked I would light a cigarette the instant after turning the key in the ignition whether I was driving a block or a hundred miles. Friday, I sat at stop signs and traffic lights wanting to jump out of my window and grab the cigarette casually hanging between the driver’s fingers next to me.

Circle Two~ Cold sweats all night long Friday and well into Saturday. I could not stay awake and slept for almost 18 hours. It was not a restful sleep but a lot like the foggy headed, dizzy sleep you have after a few too many doses of NyQuil. Standing outside myself and surveying my condition I looked a lot like a lifetime special on a junkie.

Circle Three~ Food Glorious Food!!!! My mouth which was used to the motions of sucking on a cig every hour or so has nothing to do. It misses its little friend and has gone in search of any food substitute that might sate the cravings. To avoid having to kick the next habit and keep myself from being the next reality t.v. star, I try to snack on baby carrots and fat free sorbet but Sunday proves too much and eat apple pie ala mode. Biggest Loser IX here I come!

Circle Four~ Nervous energy. This is your body’s idea of punishment / blackmail. You won’t need to rearrange the closet (AGAIN) if you just go downstairs and smoke. The linen closet never bothered you before, so just go downstairs and smoke and quit rearranging the hand towels.

Circle Five~ Life is like a box of……. cigarettes? Everywhere I turn there is a box. Empty. Full. Half smoked. It took some serious will power to take the boxes I had in my purse and put them away. Those were like security blankets ready to soothe me should I fall off the smoke free wagon. Did I throw them away? Hell no! I may still fail at this and cigarettes are just too expensive to keep replacing.

I would love to continue, because believe me this whole life change is consuming me. I am obsessed, but for now I need to walk around the office and burn off some nervous energy before I run downstairs to smoke. One hundred and three hours and counting……