Farm Living is the Life for Me

This was written last weekend, never finished, and not published until now because quite frankly I forgot all about it until now.

Anyone who has never traveled two lane back country roads in Texas needs to do so. The drive up here was so beautiful. Rolling fields of freshly cut hay. Big round bales sitting in a row waiting for the winter. Cows grazing. The sun rising in the East and throughout it all we had some of Willie Nelson’s greatest songs blaring on the radio. Can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be sitting next to a girl who knows the words to every song. Oh, and who could resist the face in the side mirror. All yellow fur and lips flapping. A truly happy city dog.

When we arrived the cows all came up to beg for cubes. Cow crack that is, a true addiction. Our mission this weekend was to take photos of all the cows on the ranch for a new program that keeps track of everything for you. While the cows were pleading their case for cubes we walked through them squatting for pictures. There we were, perched precariously above giant piles of shit making sucking noises trying to get them to look our way. The morning hours yielded fifty-five photos. A handful will be good enough to import into the program.

Midday our bellies were grumbling and mimosas had begun to burn holes in our stomach linings so it was off to Westhoff for chicken gizzards. Disclaimer here: I do not eat gizzards but the love of my life loves them so that is where we went. Again, the drive was spectacular. We ate at tables covered in vinyl tablecloths, drank long necks and for dessert- played a game of pool. I lost. For those of you who know me this is no surprise.

Anyone thinking of moving to the country must know there are some rules:

Before your home is complete you MUST have an old piece of farm equipment that is no longer functional. This equipment must be so rusted that no amount of refurbishing could bring it back.

You must place this piece of equipment in the front or side yard. Putting it in the back where no one could see would completely defeat the purpose of having said equipment in the first place.

It’s hard keeping landscaping looking pretty in the country. With all of the livestock and fields to tend to there is just no time left to water regular ole yard plants. To remedy this, place plastic flowers in your yard. Stick those suckers right in the dirt next to the painted wood cut outs.