Rikki Tiki Drunki

If you were me you could say the following about this past weekend:

Friday night while house sitting at a friend's your tipsy (ok drunk) ass walked three doors down to the neighbors because you heard screaming coming from the backyard. You were thinking serial killer which is why you knocked on the front door politely only to be informed it was the homeowner's teenage girl and her friend swimming out back. You could have apologized and walked away acting every bit the idiot you are but instead you notice they are playing Wii and ask for a few tips on how to hit a home run.

On Saturday you would have had a few too many before attending a birthday party. At the party you would have fallen on a tiki torch catching your hair on fire. That's what you get for buying not one but two sizes smaller than you were a month ago while shopping for jeans and celebrating all day long (granted the store they were purchased in clearly has sizing issues but just to looking at the tag makes it worth it).

Sunday you would have spent the majority of the day (six or so hours) watching reruns of America's Next Top Model your new obsession. That is until your friends who clearly weren't at the party and don't know you accosted their neighbor invite you for a margarita which six hours prior would have been out of the question but now.....