Dear PETA,
This Winter I’m Wearing Fur

Funny that when I was young I wanted to shave my legs. Couldn’t wait to start shaving my legs. It was like wearing lipstick or piercing your ears. A rite of passage so to speak. When I was around eight I decided to just try to shave a little of my leg to see what it was like. I perched my leg up on the side of the bathtub, grabbed my mother’s razor then proceeded to slice a four inch line from my heel up. My bathwater turned pink as I yelled for my mother who immediately asked if I had tried to shave. No, the razor fell into the tub and I set my foot down on it thereby cutting myself. Right. She didn’t push the issue probably thinking I wouldn’t try again too soon after that experience. She was right.

These days it is a completely different story. Although C and I fell asleep with the fire place ablazin last night and woke up to a bedroom hotter than the Sahara desert, when I stepped into the shower I couldn’t get the chill out of my bones or the water hot enough. I stood there turning the knob, turning it some more, waiting to be surrounded by the steam. Nothing.

Resigning myself to the fact that it just wasn’t going to happen I proceeded with my shower. I looked at the razor, perched on the side of the bathtub, outside the glass doors of the shower. I thought I had two options; brave the cold of the bathroom to retrieve the razor, effectively giving up what little heat I had built up or shave tomorrow. Looking at my legs it was clear that today would have been a good choice unless I was willing to use a new blade on each leg. I opted for comfort over practicality.

This morning when I left for work the temperature outside was hovering in the thirties. That’s when it hit me. I am growing myself a winter coat (one particular reader is laughing about a completely unrelated story). Why do I need smooth legs that won’t see the light of day until February at best? Come Spring I’ll get some industrial clippers and sheer myself. Maybe make a sweater or two. Until then, PETA if you see me walking down the street please don’t throw red paint on my legs.