Desperately Seeking Jackie

While out running errands this weekend, we pulled up beside another car at a stop light and there, hanging from the rear view mirror, were turquoise rosary beads. It got me traveling back in time to the fashion deficient Eighties and the fact that I followed EVERY bad trend.

If you were to ask me today, I would say it started with Madonna. After watching her videos repeatedly on MTV, my weekend wardrobe consisted of men’s boxer shorts, a wife beater tank top, and colored bracelets snaking up my arm. Sad that if I were in school today those bracelets would make me a walking billboard of sexual preferences. Madonna wore rosary beads around her neck. My mother, being the good Catholic that she is, did not allow me to wear mine.

I got tired of Desperately Seeking Jackie and changed my look to more of a Flock of Seagulls meets the Munsters. My hair was stripped of all color then teased as high as possible in a swoopy-flat-top then sprayed with an entire can of Aqua Net. Next came a few layers of pancake base in the ever popular shade at the time~ Winter White. Approximately half an inch of black eyeliner around the top and bottom of each eye, black clothes to accentuate the white face, and Red as a Baboon’s Ass lipstick topped off the look. I can prove this with a picture of me sitting on our piano bench, looking angry for the camera of course.

Punk got old and I ventured out into my Talking Heads big blazer look. I gave up the teasing comb and Aqua Net and replaced them with hot rollers instead. I did not, however, give up the bleach in a bottle. That event happened just seven years ago.

I know that fashion trends come and go but please, I am begging the Image Gods, don’t bring back the Eighties. My poor hair couldn’t take it again.