Western Haze

This weekend we attended our second small town festival this month. Below are just a few of the memories that survived Saturday's menu of beer, wine-a-ritas, wine, and champagne:

1) A man we met at the bar told us he is really "hermitized" and spends much of his time traveling by himself in his motor home. On the particular day we met him he had a new haircut and shave. The first in awhile I imagine. He promised as he left the bar, six pack in hand, that the next morning when we saw him he would have his good teeth in (imagine no teeth grin here).

2) Only a man would take lemons, cut them in half and place them beneath the skin of chicken cooking on a smoker with a beer can up its butt. The end result is a chicken with a D cup.

3) The Scrambler (World's Best Carnival Ride) should never have tacky, non-stick seats. The purpose of going on the Scrambler is to squish the person on the outside and slide around wildly. I have a skinned elbow from this new non-stick material. Should I sue for free rides for life? Only if they bring back the glitter infused red pleather seats.

4) If you're looking for junk food, look no farther than a festival: corn dogs, barbecue, tacos, tamales, sausage on a stick, funnel cakes, roasted nuts, and ice cold beer to wash it all down.

5) Wine-a-ritas, although disgusting sounding are DELICIOUS! I am saying this now but must try one before a six pack of beer to confirm. I did sort of look at the woman when she recommended Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot as the best wine to use.

6) mutton Bustin is hilarious! Children 50 pounds and under are placed on the back of one pissed off sheep with nothing but a helmut two sizes too big and judged on how long they can stay on. A riot I tell you! If I had a child that was under 50 pounds I'd buy a sheep so we could do this in the backyard. Maybe charge admission to the neighbors.