Putting the Christ You People Need a Life back in Christmas

For all of the conservative, right wing, evangelical, Bible thumping, hating in the name of the Lord, Christians who are trying to put the Christ back in Christmas, I have this to say. You can have it back but it will cost you.

I am taking Santa Claus back. He is too good for you. You don’t deserve Saint Nicholas, who according to Wikipedia is “revered by many as the patron saint of seamen, merchants, archers, children, prostitutes, pharmacists, lawyers, pawnbrokers, prisoners”. Got that! Prostitutes and pawnbrokers. Prisoners. Santa Claus is a democrat. I am sure Rush Limbaugh wouldn’t mind revering the patron saint of pharmacists and Tom Delay might want to light a candle for any saint that might help his attorneys. We can only hope he is in prison soon praying to good old Saint Nick for himself.

Guess what?! I am taking your Christmas tree also. You don’t want something in your house that started as a pagan tradition do you? No. You are chaste. You are compassionate conservative Christians who want to follow the Bible by the word when it suits you. So no more trees for you. You can however keep the nativity scene.

You want schools to start calling it “Christmas holiday” instead of “winter break”. Sure is going to suck when little Johnny and Suzy have to call it “Kwanza holiday” and “Chanukah break”. Oh, you didn’t think you were the only ones who got two weeks off of school named after you did you? You see this is America. The same America that embraces all cultures or used to before you hijacked our government. If you want Christ back in Christmas start with the person in the mirror.