Ghost of Christmas Past

The holidays are fast approaching. We have only just begun our shopping. I think there are four or five gifts waiting to be wrapped. The remainder is yet to be purchased. Carrie and I stayed home from the ranch this weekend and hung Christmas lights. The weather was 80 degrees when we started which did nothing to put us in the spirit of the season. An hour or so into the process it began raining which really put a damper on any spirit we started with. Just as we were finishing up one of the trees we had just wrapped strand after strand of lights around went dark. We tried every plug, contraption, “three tap” but every time we plugged it in the breaker would trip. In a desperate effort to be done with the whole thing we ended up wrapping new lights over the ones that wouldn’t work. Not a perfect solution but at least at night you can’t see the dead stands.

My mother came by to visit while we were decorating. We were telling stories about all of the “drinkers” in our family. Who passed out in a chair, who holed up in a hotel, etc. Just the thing everyone discusses when decorating to celebrate the birth of Christ. Anyway, she was telling Carrie about a relative passing out in a chair. Mouth open, head back eyes to the sky. Mom was saying no one realized she was passed out at first and everyone kept looking at the ceiling to see what she was looking at that was so interesting. Carrie asked if we took pictures and/or put stuff on her which brings me to the subject of this post.

You see, we are kind of a strange family. We don’t really have any mercy for people who fall asleep during family functions. Before my grandfather died, my mother would bring him to her house for the holidays. She and my stepfather would get him set up in the recliner in the living room and hand him a glass or two of white zin (no taste in wine either). Granddaddy would make it approximately two seconds into gift wrapping before falling dead asleep with his mouth wide open. When we would laugh he would smile in his sleep. This led to hours of fake laughing really loud to see if he would smile every time. He did. Must have been the wine. This one Christmas he fell asleep with his hand in a gift bag full of socks (I know, I know, but he didn’t NEED anything).

The laughing game became a little boring so we decided to take family photos. Carrie was a bit appalled being new in the family and not used to our sick sense of humor. At first she refused to take the photos until we all told her to come on and get with the program. Mom, my stepfather and myself all posed around granddaddy’s sleeping form. We gave him bunny ears. We sat on the arm rests and acted goofy. He never woke up. Every once in awhile I think about that Christmas and it makes me smile to have such a sick, but fun, family.