You’ve Been Talkin’ In Your Sleep

Carrie has been talking in her sleep a lot lately. Mostly she acts as if she is at work, answering phones, taking orders. I try to engage her in conversation but my knowledge of the products she sells is limited so she usually ends up laughing in her sleep at my inability to ask for anything other than a ladder. Occasionally something is so funny in her sleep she will sit up laughing hysterically but by the time morning rolls around she can’t tell me what was so funny.

This morning while we were snoozing, for the fiftieth time, she rolled over and pet my arm. Then she called it a “ham”. A HAM?! That is what I call my thighs when I am feeling fat. Ham comes from PIGS and PIGS are big and fat. I would have cried if I weren’t trying to squeeze an extra sixty seconds of slumber out of the morning. She must pay for the comment however. I don’t care if she was asleep. Only I can call myself a pig, fat, piggy, ham resembling, hog.